It's Called Life
by Happynomnom
Summary: Numbuh 2 sad fic. Numbuh 2 has always had a tiny crush on Numbuh 3. Obviously though, she loves Numbuh 4, you know? Numbuh 5, too. She's had a tiny crush on Numbuh 1 for like, ever. He's dating some hot asian chick, though. Things changed from when they were kids. Years passed. It's hard, you know. It's called life. Rated T for 'slight adult talk'.


**Hi. The rainy days are getting to me, and this is my first sort of sad fic. **

**Set in Numbuh 2's perspective. Read it in the voice he does in his head when he's in detective mode.**

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**Disclaimer: Don't own KND.**

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It's hard, you know. But it's bound to happen to somebody one time or another.

She's a cute little thing. Sparkly smile, flowy hair, contagious laugh. If you like that type. And I do. But so does he. Violent, hard-core, but a total softie when you dig deep enough. Easily smitten. Has been for years, since we were just little kids. But we're teens now, you know. And it's especially not easy when he's one of your best friends. It's not as bad as it seems, though. I've got my own girl to keep an eye on. She's got everything you could ask for. Better yet, she understands. We both know she still feels _something_ or another for our old leader. But both of us know we love each other more than anything, but we can't help but pine after our 'little crushes', if you know what I mean. We're open about it. Everything's cool.

Well, maybe not cool. But lukewarm. Lukewarm. What a weird word. You know what's a little weird? Whenever Abby agrees to go on double dates with _her n' him_. I dunno why she does it, really. Maybe it's her own way of trying to help me.

Anyways, there was this one time. We went out for coffee. Abby loves coffee. Caramel macchiato, double espresso shot, with extra whipped cream. Otherwise a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino, triple peppermint shot, with cinnamon. I know what she likes, that girl. And when she likes it. _Ha._

There we were, the four of us. Actually, Nigel brought along some fun asian girl. She was nice. _Real_ nice. I dunno, maybe I have a thing for asian girls. Anyways, so it was the six of us, drinking our stuff, me with my arm slung around my girl, her swiping a bite of my apple crumble (hopefully without pinkeye crust). Nigel and his babe were chatting about music or something, nobody cares. Kuki. Wally. Whew, that was hard. Kuki and Wally. Yeah, them. Together. Whatever. Sipping from two straws, same cup. Totally cliché. Giggling, and all that lovey-dovey couple stuff. Abby and I, we're better than that. It's like we have some kind of bond, I dunno. But there we were, just being us.

And then out of the blue, the asian babe fixes her gaze on me, frowning.

"Yeah, toots?" I ask. I can tell she's onto something. I just can.

"Nothing." She fakes a smile, and returns to her conversation with Nigel, which has gone from music to sex, apparently.

"What's up with _that_ thang?" whispers Abby into my ear disdainfully. She _is_ dressed a bit too slutty, with a semi-see-through top and a neon pink bra. Maybe that's a thing these days. I mean, the girl sitting by the bar is wearing a _very_ see through crop top with a green bra. Not that I was looking.

"C'mon, Numbuh 5," I say, poking her stomach. We use our old code names for fun sometimes, when we really mean it. "You're just a bit jealous, huh," I murmur. I glance around quickly to make sure nobody else overheard. Not like anybody else would be listening. Wally and Kuki are totally focused on each other, and Nigel and semi-slut have gone from talking about sex to practically having sex.

"Earth to Nigel," I whine, half for the sake of Abby, half for the sake of the rest of the shop. Not to mention being traumatized myself. "Watch it, man."

"Oh. Sorry guys," he mutters in his smooth accent, blushing slightly. He grabs his new girlfriend's hand (not to mention everything else, if you know what I mean and I think you do). She giggles and they make their way out of the shop. "S'laters."

We chorus our goodbyes as they disappear around a corner. I feel Abby sigh in relief.

"Sooo…" I begin, desperate to start a conversation.

"We had sex," blurts out Kuki suddenly. She slaps a hand over her mouth, blushing furiously.

"Woah there, gurl. You know that Abby can't evah unhear that, right?!" she exclaims, half for the sake of me, half for the sake of the rest of the shop. See what I mean? We understand each other.

Why is everything about sex today?!

"Sorry." She giggles, nuzzling into Wally's chest. He wraps his arms around her and squeezes her to him as hard as he can, practically crushing her petite figure. They laugh.

"Keep it PG, guys," I mutter, feeling a slight flush creeping over my cheeks.

"Yeah," adds Abby. "My eyes don't need to be burned even more."

Well. That was quite a disastrous triple date, anyways.

The years progressed, and we were all about twenty, give or take. You know what's coming, don't you? Well, I sure didn't. I proposed to Abby. Actually, it was pretty funny. I snuck up behind her that day, and without turning around she replied, "Your tie is crooked." And then she kissed me. And said yes. Have I mentioned that she's a great kisser?

But anyways, we got engaged, and about like, a day later, Wally came over to our house.

"Where's Kuki? You haven't done anything to her, I hope," I say, half jokingly, letting him into the foyer.

"Well, uh… not exactly."

"What?!" I exclaim. "Whaddya mean?"

"Calm down, mate. She's fine. I was just wondering if… uh… I could talk to Abby."

It turned out that Kuki was pregnant.

Abby and I were engaged.

And apparently Nigel decided he really liked that asian babe and they got married.

Everything happened so fast. Seems like yesterday when we were sitting in our badass treehouse, playing video games and trading Yipper cards. Seems like yesterday that something dumb happened to Numbuh 4 or some Rainbow Monkeys and Numbuh 3 would start wailing and _I_ would be the one to comfort her. Seems like yesterday that I was wondering whether I like Numbuh 3 or 5 better. And then we got older, and I chose Abby, Wally chose Kuki, and Nigel was still a little lost bald kid. Seems like yesterday when we were in the coffee shop. And then yesterday was over, huh? And now it's today. It's like when it snows _hard_ overnight. You wake up and everything's changed completely. It's just like that. Some changes were great. Most weren't.

Eventually contact between us lessened. Eventually, we couldn't even get a hold of Nigel. Eventually, we lost Kuki and Wally, too. Kuki was the one I liked, Abby was the one I loved. I knew she felt the same way too, you know? She liked Nigel, she loved me.

Whatever happened all those years ago, all those years like yesterday, wasn't there all those years after.

Life.

It's hard, you know.

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**The end.**

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Hope you enjoyed it.

-happynomnom


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